


Life on Mars

by moonwillow27458



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment, Car Accidents, Coma, Drug Use, Hospitalization, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Overdosing, Past Ruby/Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Sam Winchester Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-09-07 13:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16855249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonwillow27458/pseuds/moonwillow27458
Summary: After being hit by a car, Sam ends up in a coma. While unconcious, Sam finds that he has to work through hims demons - his past relationships and his issues with self worth - before he can wake up. Sam has to confront things he thought were buried away.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my 100th fic on here! I thought I should make it a good un!
> 
> I have like 12 planned chapters for this, and trust me guys it's gonna get a lot darker, I'll keep updating the tags and put warnings at the beginning of each chapter.

Sam fiddled with the knobs on the radio, hoping to change the channel. He didn’t really mind Dean’s music taste, but he’d be damned if he listened to the soft rock station any longer. Twisting the knob, he found some station playing old British music. It would do. The end of “My Generation” faded out, and a guy with an English accent announced the next song: “Life on Mars” by David Bowie. Sam could deal with that; he actually really loved Bowie’s music.

“Seriously, Sam? Bowie?” Dean questioned, but he didn’t make a move to change the station. Sam rolled his eyes and turned to look out the window instead. It was raining, drops pattering gently against the window. It was a relief from the heatwave they’d just had. Summer was slowly killing Sam off.

Hills, meadows, and fields rolled by as the pastoral landscape slowly started to change into the suburbs. The suburbs were the part of town he hated, the break between his home in the inner-city and the beauty of nature. It was filled with fake people living fake lives and pretending to be happy. On some level, Sam could relate, but he couldn’t think about that. He hated thinking about that.

“So I was thinking we could do something this weekend — you, me, and Cas?” Sam said, just to break the silence. Dean didn’t even take a second to consider.

“Actually, me and Cas got a party this weekend,” he answered.

“What, and I’m not invited?” Sam bit out. He was never invited anywhere with them; it was like they led a whole separate life that Sam wasn’t a part of. A small voice in the back of his head reminded him that they were probably trying to get away from him.

“It’s being thrown by a college buddy of ours, Benny — you wouldn’t know him, or anyone there, really,” Dean replied gently, though it seemed more patronising than anything. Sam bit the inside of his cheek and turned away. He couldn’t cry in front of Dean. He wouldn’t.

“I’d know you guys,” he whispered, but Dean didn’t seem to hear him. Great, fucking _great_. His own brother was looking for excuses not to hang out with him. Sam had hit a record low. “You know what, forget it. I know you guys would rather spend time with each other than with me. I get it. I’m just your dumb kid brother.”

Dean tried to splutter out some protests, but there wasn’t really a lot he could argue with. He _was_ just Dean’s dumb kid brother. In all honesty, Cas wasn’t really his friend either; he was just*Dean’s friend that he’d had a crush on for as long as Sam had known him. Sam rolled down the window of the car and let the rain fall onto his face. It was better than the alternative: facing Dean, and facing the prospect that he didn’t really have many friends.

Sam sighed. “Dean, let me out up here.”

Reluctantly, Dean pulled the car over outside one of the suburban homes. There was the stereotypical white picket fence, a green lawn that was cut perfectly — everything you could imagine about suburbia was there. Sam almost laughed. He began to climb out the car, but he felt Dean’s hand on his back.

“Wait, Sam! We’re miles away from home, it’s pissing it down,” Dean tried to reason. “Look, man, just get back in the car and we can talk about this.” Sam shrugged off Dean’s hand and pulled himself onto the street. Dean was right, it was pissing it down; but he wasn’t gonna let that stop him. He slammed the car door shut. Dean turned the engine off.

“Alright fine, I’ll leave the car here and walk with you!” he huffed, but Sam leant through the still-open window to cut him off.

“I’m a big boy, Dean, I don’t need you to hold my hand to cross the street anymore.”

Sam turned to walk away. He didn’t see the Porsche driving down the street.

The pain was blinding as the car collided with his side. He could almost feel his ribs break as the grill smashed into him. There was screaming coming from somewhere. He couldn’t tell if it was him, because he couldn’t feel his body. Sam flipped over the hood of the car, over the roof, and crash-landed in the road. The breaks of the car squealed, and suddenly there was a woman leaning over him. A woman and her children. Dean was somewhere, Sam could tell. He managed the mutter his brother’s name.

Then everything faded to black.


	2. Ruby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wakes up in his ex-girlfriend's apartment. He can't remember how he got there, or why he was with her, but at least Ruby made him feel loved.

Sam recognised the apartment as soon as he woke up. It wasn’t his, nor was it Dean and Lisa’s. There was a dirty mattress on the floor, bottles of liquor scattered around the room, and an open bottle of pills on the table. It could have been any crack house in America, but it wasn’t.

It was Ruby’s.

He didn’t know what he was doing on the floor of his ex-girlfriend’s apartment. Maybe Dean had brought him here after the accident. Ruby knew some pretty dodgy people — she had to know a doctor who didn’t ask any questions and who wasn’t looking for health insurance. It was starting to make sense. Except Dean hated Ruby, and would probably let Sam die before seeing her again.

In all honesty, Sam would rather die than see her again.

Ruby came out of the bathroom, her make-up smudged and her clothes covered in blood. There was a feral grin on her face.

“Ruby, what am I doing here?” Sam questioned.

“Has someone had a little too much to drink again? I told you to lay off the Jack last night, babe,” Ruby replied smugly. She came over the Sam and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I’ve missed you, Sam. You need to lose your control freak of a brother, and move back in with me.”

“Did you- did you kidnap me from the hospital?” Sam asked. She must of done. It had to be some kind of misery situation. There was no other explanation as to why Sam would go running back to her.

“What hospital? What are you on about?” Ruby sat down on the floor beside him, narrowly dodging the needles on the floor. “Sam, you came back to me because you love me, remember?”

Sam couldn’t remember. It did sound like something he’d do though. Of all the people in his life, Ruby was the only one who was there for him no matter what. The last conversation he’d had with Dean replayed itself in his head. Cas and Dean didn’t want to be friends with him. They were looking for excuses to not have to hang out with him. Of course he went back to Ruby.

“Dean doesn’t-”

“Dean doesn’t love you, I know. You explained this to me when you came knocking on my door.” Ruby completed his sentence with a smile, blood-red lips curling. “Sammy, it’s only a matter of time before you stop running away to me, and just live with me again.”

“But Cas-”

“Cas can afford to pay your half of the rent. Hell, he might actually find a roommate he wants to spend time with.” The words dripped from her lips like poison, each drop of venom burning Sam a little more. He could still feel the pain of the car crash. Even if Ruby didn’t know what had happened, she had to see the pain on him.

She liked that though — she liked seeing Sam in pain.

“Face it, Sam, I’m the only one who’s ever really cared about you. I’m the only one who ever will.”

She was right. Sam hated to admit it, but she was right. Every argument with Dean, every tear he’d shed – Ruby was the one that had been there to mop it up. Maybe she liked his pain, but maybe she just liked to nurse him better. He let her kiss him again, and again, and again, until his face was a mosaic of ruby-red lipstick. Until he was marked as hers. He _was_ hers, and he’d always be hers, as long as she made him feel loved.

“Listen, babe, I gotta go out. I’m meeting Lucifer about a shipment order. I’ll be back before dinner,” Ruby told him. She stood up and looked around the apartment before turning back to him. “Just don’t do anything stupid. Wouldn’t want you to hurt that pretty little vessel of yours. Oh, and don’t call your brother, we both know he doesn’t want to talk to you.” And with that, she was out of the door, leaving Sam alone in a filthy apartment with nothing but drugs and alcohol around him.

The air in the apartment was stifling. Sam didn’t know if it was the mould growing on the walls or the fact that Ruby liked to hotbox the room every now and then. Back at Cas’ apartment, where he’d been living since he last broke up with Ruby, everything was clean. Sam liked clean; he liked the strong smell of chemicals that came with cleaning, and the sense of doing something good and healthy. Cas just liked things to be neat. It was one of the reasons Sam liked living with him so much.

And of course, because he could sleep in the room next door to his crush.

That didn’t matter anymore. He’d pick a day when Cas was working and sneak back to collect all his things. It was better than inconveniencing Cas with his presence anyway.

He set about cleaning up Ruby’s place. It didn’t need to be too clean — I’m meeting Lucifer for a shipment order was code for I’m buying a shit tonne of cocaine and that meant there’d be people over that night. People like Ruby, users and addicts who wouldn’t care that the walls are stained green with damp. The only reason Sam had for cleaning the apartment was for his own peace of mind, and to stop him from thinking about Cas or Dean… or something much much worse.

He fought through the pain and sat up. He had a long day.

Ruby, true to her word, was back before dinner. In fact, she entered with a bag of take out in her hands. Sam hated take out food, hated the grease sitting in his stomach, but he was in no frame of mind to argue with her about something so stupid. At least she’d bothered to go out and find him food. She had a huge smile on her face as she set the paper bag down on the floor beside the door. She locked it behind her, trapping the two of them in the apartment together.

“Sam, babe, guess who scored some meth!” Ruby lilted. Sam’s eyes widened. Of all the crazy stupid things Ruby had done, she’d not used meth; at least, not around him. Sam had heard the horror stories – hell, he’d seen some of the people that took it. But Ruby had a packet of pale pink powder in her hand, and that meant that she was going to at least try it.

“You’re not- you’re not really gonna take that, are you?” Sam asked timidly. Ruby laughed and tossed the packet towards Sam.

“Of course I am. Lucifer’s coming over later and we need to show him how well his batch works,” she grinned. She took off her jacket and threw it on the ground next to the the take out. “Do you want some, Sam? I got Chinese.” Sam shook his head. The drugs had thrown him off; just thinking about them was making him feel sick. Ruby mumbled something to herself and picked up a carton of food, practically wolfing it down.

Sam waited patiently for her to finish eating before he brought up the meth again.

“Look, Ruby, I don’t think you should do this,” Sam started.

“You? No, Sam, we’re doing this together,” Ruby replied. Before Sam could respond, Ruby had taken the bag out of his hand and was opening it up. She lined it up on the floor, and Sam was momentarily fixated on the thought that it wasn’t clean, that the floor was dirty. But that was the least of their problems. He watched Ruby roll up a one dollar bill from her pocket and use it to snort the meth. She pulled her head back up and gave Sam a gruesome grin. Blood was dripping from her nose.

“Your turn, Sam,” she said. Sam tried to protest, he did, but Ruby forcefully handed him the dollar bill. “You need to do it, Sam. Prove you love me. Prove to me that you’re thankful that I love you. I’m giving you good quality shit here, Sam, for free. I want to see you snort it. Prove that you love me.”

Dying from a drug overdose couldn’t be any worse than living knowing Dean hated him.

Sam leant over and snorted like his life depended on it.

It took a few minutes, but Sam felt his heart speed up. It was like a jackhammer in his chest, beating louder and louder, like it was in the room with them. Suddenly, everything felt so good. He stopped thinking about his brother, his dumbass roommate. He stopped thinking about how much he hated himself. Only the beautiful woman in front of him and the elation of the drug pumping through his system filled his mind now.

His heart wouldn’t stop though. It became too much pretty quickly. Pain started in his arm and moved to his back, and then his chest. Fuck, **fuck!** He might have been dying. He fell back to the floor and let his body stop working. This was what he’d signed up for.

The door to the apartment blew off its hinges. Somehow, Dean and Cas had found him and they were stood in the doorway where the door should have been. They were saying something, something Sam couldn’t hear. And then, like sun breaking through clouds, he could hear them clear as day.

“Sam, you’re in a coma.”

“You need to fight, Sam. You’re dying, man. You need to fight whatever’s going on in that brain of yours,” Dean begged. He seemed close to tears, and the last time Sam had seen Dean cry was when Ben was born. The time before that, was when Sam had graduated college. His brother didn’t cry often, but he was so close to crying as he stared at Sam dying on the floor. Cas stepped in for him.

“Sam, I know things seem bad but they’ll be worse without you here,” he said. “You need to get out of the coma, but first, you need to survive whatever’s going on right now.”

With Dean and Cas there, Sam managed to get his breathing under control. If they were right, if Sam really was in a coma, then he could control his dreams. He closed his eyes and concentrated, imagining a safer time when him and Dean were kids. He felt his heartbeat slow down, falling into its regular pattern.

What the hell was he thinking, taking what Ruby had offered him? He’d been down this path before, and he knew where it led. Ruby wasn’t right for him. He looked back up to Dean and Cas, who were stood over him, offering dry smiles.

He didn’t need Ruby and her drugs to make him feel better. Not anymore.

When he opened his eyes again, he couldn’t recognise where he was.


	3. Interlude 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas talk to Sam.

Dean could only watch as the heart monitor began to beep. Something had changed with Sam. He hadn’t flat lined, _thank God, he hadn’t flat lined,_ but his heart rate was through the roof. Something had changed, and that something wasn’t good.

Cas was the first one to spring to action. _He_ pressed the call button, and _he_ was the one who began to gently talk Sam through it all. He was whispering something in Sam’s ear, as if Sam were doing nothing more than taking a nap, and Cas was trying to wake him up. There was a big difference between a nap and a fucking coma, but Cas didn’t really seem to grasp the situation. Dean growled.

“Sammy! Sam, you’re in a coma, you need to wake up!“ Dean yelled at his unconscious brother. Nothing. Of course, he’d already tried yelling, had tried it on the road and in the ambulance and in the ER. One more try wouldn’t hurt anyone. "Sammy, listen to me, you gotta wake up, man!”

“Dean, be gentle,” Cas reminded him. Gentle wasn’t gonna fucking cut it; he needed his brother to be okay.

A nurse burst into the room and pushed Dean and Cas out of the way. She checked over Sam, whose heart rate was still going off like crazy. Fucking Hell, if the nurse couldn’t fix it, then he was surely doomed. Dean had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying.

“I don’t know what’s wrong. Doctor Cara will be in in a second, but all I can say is tha I think this is coming from inside his head,” the nurse told them. Dean gave her a blank stare. “Sometimes*,* patients who have a near death experience create their own worlds inside their heads, like a dream. Most likely, something happened in Sam’s dream to cause such a reaction. Until Doctor Cara gets here, all I can do is speculate, but… I think you should carry on talking to him.”

Dean nodded and sat by his brother’s bedside. “C'mon Sammy, listen to us. Please.”

Sam’s heart didn’t show a sign of slowing down. Dean began to cry.

“You need to fight, Sam. You’re dying, man - you need to fight whatever’s going on in that brain of yours.” Dean couldn’t even begin to comprehend what Sammy was dreaming about. It must have been bad; Sam had dealt with nightmares before, but nothing had ever gotten him like this. His heart rate didn’t change, so Cas started talking to Sam on his other side.

“Sam, I know things seem bad, but they’ll be worse without you here. You need to get out of the coma, but first, you need to survive whatever’s going on right now,” he begged the unconscious boy. Nothing seemed to change, and Dean and Cas both turned away, defeated. What could they say to someone who thought they hated him?

And then it hit them: Sam’s heart rate was starting to slow down to a steady seventy beats per minute. Dean had never been so pleased to hear the beep of the heart monitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely unrelated to the story, but I recently opened up at [Ko-fi](http://ko-fi.com/LeahBarron) account if you wanna show support there. I'll still be making free content and there's no pressure at all but I appreciate any support


	4. Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam meets his mom for what feels like the first time.

There was a mobile above his head, with aeroplanes and hot air balloons and clouds attached to it. Probably supposed to be some inspiring bullshit about how he could reach for the sky. Well, Sam had reached for the sky with a degree in journalism, and he’d been working a Taco Bell since he left college. How was that for reaching for the sky?

He didn’t understand where he was. Clearly, it was a child’s bedroom, but he’d never had a proper bedroom growing up. So it couldn’t have been his. There were toys all around the room, toys he vaguely remembered from somewhere, but not enough to actually know. The biggest mystery was how Sam, in his 6’ gangliness, managed to fit into a baby’s crib. He tried to stretch out and push at the bars but got nowhere. He groaned in frustration.

“Hey, Sammy, shhh, can you be quiet for Mommy?”

The bedroom door flung open and Sam could see his mom there, in all her beauty. It had been years since he’d seen his mom—he hadn’t laid eyes on her since he was a toddler—but she was there, and real, and Sam could feel himself crying.

“Mom?” Sam sobbed.

“Hey, little man, it’s okay, okay? You don’t need to cry, baby.” She rushed over to him and picked him up, and Sam was even more confused. Sure, his mom was strong, but he was a grown man. She shouldn’t have been able to pick him up. Still, Sam couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her. He needed that confirmation that she was there, that she was alive. He buried his face in her neck just to catch her scent; it was something soft and delicate like her, maybe lavender.

“We ought to think about getting you a new crib,” Mary mused out loud. “Maybe when Daddy gets a bit more money, eh? We can get Dean that racing car bed he wants and then you can have Dean’s bed. C'mon, let’s go see your brother.” Mary held onto Sammy tightly and carried him downstairs. Sam had never seen the house before, but there were photos hung up on the wall that Sam recognised. There was his parents’ wedding photo, baby photos of him and Dean… One snapshot, which hung at the bottom of the staircase, was a photo of Dean hugging him as a toddler, a photo that Sam knew for a fact Dean still had.

Dean himself was sat on the floor in the living room. There were some matchbox cars in front of him that Dean seemed to be enjoying throwing around. Sam could remember playing with cars like that with his brother, but Dean seemed to be having more fun now than he ever did with Sam. Mary shuffled into the room and dropped Sam at Dean’s side before heading for the kitchen. Dean gave Sam a quick look before going back to playing with his cars.

“Dean,” Sam said, but even as he spoke he could hear his childish whisper. Dean glanced up at him with wide eyes.

“Did you just say my name?” Dean asked. There was a slight lisp in his voice, and Sam could see a couple of teeth missing from his grin. Dean must have been about seven.

“Mommy, Sammy just said my name!” Dean yelled into the kitchen.

“I told you he’d said it before,” Mary hummed. “I swear he likes you better than me or your Dad.” Dean laughed at his mom but quickly turned that laughter to Sam.

“Do you wanna play cars, Sammy? It’s easy, all you gotta do is roll them across the floor,” Dean said. He handed Sam one of the toy cars—a red Mustang—and held Sam’s hand as they pushed the car along. “See Sammy, it’s fun, right? It’s even more fun when you crash them into each other. I like doing the sounds like in the movies Daddy watches.” Dean took two of the cars and smashed them together, making an explosion sound as he did so. Sam smiled at how carefree Dean was acting. He wished he could remember more of them playing together.

Sam thought about the task at hand, how everyone seemed to see him as a baby.

“Dean, something’s wrong.” Sam cringed at his own voice. “I’m in a coma. This is a dream, I’m actually twenty-five.” For a second, Dean seemed shocked by little Sammy speaking so well. But then his face moulded into the harsh features that Sam had come to know.

“I know, Sam.”

“So what am I doing here? Why can’t I wake up?” Sam whined. In the kitchen he heard his mom drop something, the noise actually making his ears hurt.

“You need some time alone with her, Sam.” With that Dean disappeared, running into the other room. Sam tried to follow him, but his tiny toddler body couldn’t hold him up and he fell after a few steps. Like magic, his mom came in, sweeping him off his feet and holding him close.

She was humming something under her breath. After a moment, Sam recognised it as “Hey Jude” by the Beatles. It was the same song Dean used to sing to him whenever he had a nightmare as a kid. Their mom must have been the one to start that. Gently, she bounced Sam up and down, getting him to calm down a little. It was the closest he could ever remember being to his mom.

She sat them down on the couch, letting Sam sit in her lap. There was a minute of silence. Sam watched his mom, really got a good look at her. They had photos upon photos of her stacked carefully in a box under Dean’s bed, but God, they did not do her justice. The turquoise ocean of her eyes was so much brighter, so much more beautiful in real life. Her hair was like a golden waterfall. Sam reached out a tiny hand and held onto it—it was so soft, better than any comfort blanket Sam had ever had growing up. Mary offered him a small smile, and Sam could feel love radiating off of her.

“I miss you, Mom.”

“I miss you too, Sammy.” Mary began to tear up, even though she was still smiling. “But we can’t stay here forever. You need to go home.” Sam’s heart turned to stone.

“I can’t! I don’t want to!” Sam screamed. How could she think about letting Sam go? They’d only been back together for a few minutes. Sam needed this, he needed to be loved by his mom. He couldn’t wake up, not now.

“Sammy, stop being so fussy!” She snapped. She stood up, holding Sammy at arm’s-length like he was some kind of monster. In the grand scheme of things, she wasn’t wrong; but of all the people to feel that way, he couldn’t believe his mom was one of them. She carried him upstairs and put him back in his crib—his prison—right where she had found him. “You can stay here until you calm down.”

She walked away.

Sam was alone again.

There wasn’t much else Sam could do but cry. He’d heard stories of his mom, mostly from Dean but some from their Dad. She was an angel, the sweetest person ever, had nothing but love. But even she couldn’t love her son. She’d abandoned him at the first sign of trouble, the same way everyone else had. Well, everyone else except Dean. Dean had a habit of sticking around even when things were bad for him.

Sam was not surprised when Dean stumbled into the room, still a child but with the wisdom of an immortal in his eyes. He pulled himself into the cot beside Sam.

“How’s it going?” Dean asked, so nonchalantly that Sam could have throttled him. As it was, Sam didn’t have any energy to sit up, so he settled for giving Dean a dry look. Dean smirked. “Not good?”

“She hates me, Dean,” Sam sobbed. “I’ve waited so long to talk to her, and she hates me.” His voice was so quiet *that* it was a miracle Dean even heard him. He felt a small hand on his back, gingerly stroking him in an attempt to comfort.

“What makes you think that?”

“She abandoned me!” Sam yelled. “She abandoned me, just like she’s always done. Like she’s always gonna do! You had a mom, Dean, you got a childhood! But it’s always different for me. The only memory I have of her is her handing me off to someone else because she didn’t want me to be her problem anymore.”

“That’s what this is about? You think she abandoned you?” Dean questioned. There was a fire in his eyes; Sam couldn’t remember the last time Dean had been this angry at him. “Sam, the reason she left—the reason she died—was because she was protecting you, okay? Yeah, she passed you off—onto me, because she was trying to get you out of the fire and we were the only ones who could fit under all the wreckage. If she hadn’t gone back for you, yeah she might have made it out, but we wouldn’t have done. Don’t you get that? She didn’t abandon you, Sammy—she gave you a chance.”

“I didn’t—you and Dad never talked about the fire,” Sam mumbled. “I didn’t know.” Dean pulled Sam into a hug.

“You have to forgive her.”

All of a sudden, Dean disappeared into thin air. Sam could still feel his brother’s arms around him, but Dean was no longer there. Sam frowned. He knew it was a dream, but surely Dean couldn’t just disappear, could he? Sam quickly glanced around the room in search for him, and that’s when he saw it.

The plug in the corner of the room started sparking. Sparking, and then flaming. This was it.

This was the fire that killed his mom.

The fire took a long time to get going, but once it spread, it spread fast. The curtains were the first to go, lighting up so quickly they might as well have been paper. Then it was the shelves with all of Sam’s books on, his toys. He was screaming until his voice was hoarse, but nothing would get his mom to come into the room. He knew from experience that she’d walk in just before it was too late. The fire was just beginning to circle the cot, flames licking at Sam’s hands through the bars, when she stormed in. She looked so sad, and there were tears in her eyes—but she was still brave enough to come running in.

As soon as she crossed the threshold into the bedroom, the door frame collapsed in, followed by part of the ceiling. It all blocked the door, and Sam understood what Dean had meant; the space left in the door was barely big enough for a child, never mind his mom. She was calling Dean’s name. Dean (properly-a-child Dean) came running to the door.

She pressed a kiss to Sam’s forehead. “I love you, baby.”

Sam didn’t have time to react before she was passing him through the flames into Dean’s hands. This is his only memory of her: Mary growing further away as he is taken by another set of hands. Sam had never remembered that it was Dean who had taken him, and had never known why she gave him up. It all made sense now, and Sam couldn’t believe he’d been so bitter all these years. Of course his mom loved him.

“Sammy, close your eyes,” Dean gently instructed. Sam did as he was told, closing his eyes tight.

He was going to make it home again.

**Author's Note:**

> Well I really hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Please like/comment/subscribe to the story for more!
> 
> This was beta'd by the lovely [xwingmen](http://xwingmen.tumblr.com) on tumblr
> 
> You can check out my tumblr [here](http://benevolentsam.tumblr.com) (I know tumblr's kinda imploding rn but I'm sticking around on there so feel free to drop me a message!)


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